IN HIS CHALLENGES, BRIAN HUBBARD DISCOVERS STRENGTHS AND LIFE GIFTS
By Kate McCarthy
Providence Journal
July 4, 2000
At a recent annual meeting I was listening to some people receiving excellence awards. One winner, Brian Hubbard, caught my full attention. Rather than giving the usual "thank you", Hubbard recognized certain members of the audience who have made a difference in his life and asked the audience to give these people a round of applause. As Hubbard received an award for personal and professional excellence, his enthusiasm for and honest appreciation of the many gifts in life was contagious. The next morning I contacted Hubbard and over the following week I learned where his positive attitude comes from.
Hubbard, 53, of Newport, RI, recalls that as a teenager he had a reputation as being a "macho hockey player" because he never scrambled to get out of the way of opposing players. As a result Hubbard spent a lot of time picking himself off the ice. Although he did not realize that at the time, the truth was he never saw the opponents coming-he was peripherally blind and couldn’t see from the side.
"I was an exceptional athlete, especially in ice hockey," says Hubbard, "unknowingly playing legally blind."
One day while playing hockey Hubbard was knocked unconscious. The end result was a diagnosis of retinitis pigmentosa, which eventually causes blindness. As a young child he had already been diagnosed with a severe hearing impairment.
"The diagnosis of losing my sight was devastating, as a 16-year old who did not have adequate coping skills and support. My Parents tried the best they could, but they were feeling too much pain. Their basic message about coping was "you can do just as well as anyone else", said Hubbard.
Always focusing on achievements and competition despite being profoundly hearing impaired and increasingly blind left Hubbard feeling frustrated and with minimal acceptance of his disability.
It became especially difficult over the next few years as I watched all my friends go on to great heights in ice hockey, both professionally and in college. We grew up in the same neighborhood and we lived playing hockey on the frozen pond in the winter. It was hard to accept that I was going off to college with funding from state rehabilitation and that I would have to sit and watch the college hockey team play knowing there was a time where I could skate just as well.
Hubbard did poorly in college. He was in denial and had feelings of anger about his loss of sight and hearing. And in his senior year, he had to deal with his father’s suicide. He married for the first time shortly after he graduated, but was still unhappy with his life.
Finally, with marital problems that eventually led to divorce, he went into therapy.
"This therapy experience was the smartest move I ever made," says Hubbard. "It was a turning point to recovery and acceptance of my disabilities.
"My experiences compelled me to adapt a philosophy of life what is important in life and the necessity of authenticity, self-acceptance and self-love."
Hubbard returned to school and received his master’s degree in social work. He founded Counseling for Independent Living in Middletown, RI, which provides counseling services for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses. He also became a involved in sports again and is a world-class skier. He has won three gold medals with the U. S. Disabled Ski Team.
As a licensed clinical social worker for more than twenty five years, Hubbard has been recognized as the only therapist in the nation who is blind and profoundly hearing impaired.
"It is understandable that people losing their ability to walk, see or use their arms would be in a state of denial, which can be a powerful motivator to function if it is in the right proportion and perspective. But denial can also run against the grain of self-acceptance and true recovery.
"I do not think people with disabilities are given ample opportunity for encouragement to grieve in the same way that one grieves with any loss in life, whether necessary loss or traumatic loss. A person with a disability has to go through the grieving process and adjust to their disability by acquiring new strengths and resources."
Today, Hubbard, who is facing the challenge of prostate cancer, spends most of his time as a consultant, lecturer and writer. In his book, From Emptiness to Empowerment: Changing Physical and Other Losses Into Strengths, he provides concrete steps and strategies to assist people in turning feelings of anger or hurt from loss into a positive experience.
"When one door closes, another may open, but it won’t open automatically," says Hubbard, "it depends on how the loss or door that closes is confronted and challenged. I believe if people confront loss with integrity and strength then they will successfully grieve and develop true wisdom in their life."
Brian Hubbard can be contacted at empowerment@brianjhubbard.com